Gandhi's blessing to India

Gandhi ke ek dost par khoon ka zutha ilzaam laga.
Gandhiji ne muqadma lada aur oose bacha liya.
Woh bahut shukrguzaar hue aur ek sawal kiya:
"Kal jab aap nai honge toh begunah ko kaun bachayega"?
Gandhiji ne bahut khubsurat jawab dia:
"NOTE PE LAGI MERI PHOTO"..!
Se kaam ho jayega....

Mahabharat in this era

1. Kauravas would have starved to death with only 9 subsidized LPG connections for 102 of them.

2. When Bheem meets Hanuman, he would hand him t-shirts saying, 'Being Hanuman,' and then run him over vehicle.

3. Media would target Shree Krishna as Dwarka was in Gujarat.

4. Draupadi would have been sobbing in a Satyameva Jayate episode.

5. Nandan Nilkeni would go mad during AADHAR data collection at the Kaurava household.

6. News channels would pay millions for exclusive rights for live telecast of Draupadi's vastraharan.

7. India TV headlines will be ' Draupdi ki saaree ka raaz , khulega Aaj ' theek raat 8 baze !

8. TV reporters will ask Bheesm Pitamah on the bed of arrows: "How are you feeling? Kaise lag raha hai?"

9. Abhimanyu would have got the GYAN that getting out of Chakravyuh was easier than booking a Tatkal ticket on IRCTC."

10. Aishwarya would have been replaced by Draupadi in L'Oreal shampoo advt. "5 problems, 1 solution."

Aishwarya's Baby in School

Sir-Who's ur Grandpa?
Baby-Big B
Sir-Who's ur Mom?
Baby-Miss World
Sir-Who's ur Dad?
Baby-"No Idea Sirji" :D.                       Good morning..

Similarity between Cricket and potty

Potty aur cricket mein kya
similarity hai?
.
.
.socho socho
.
.
.
.
.
Dhoni yahan bhi hai...dhoni
wahan bhi ha

Funny Fellow - All time gr8s

Sugar Test

Funny Fellow enters kitchen, opens sugar box, looks inside and closes it. This he does again and again. Why? Because the doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.


Funny Fellows and scooter
Three Funny Fellows were going on a scooter. Traffic police showed them his hand.
One of the Funny Fellows told: We are already three, sorry, there is no space.


Lion and Funny Fellows
Two Funny Fellows were in a forest, when a lion came roaring towards them. One of them throws sand into its eyes, and runs. Second one stays unmoved. When asked why he is not running, another Funny Fellow tells: "Why should I be running? It is you who has thrown the sand

Cyclone
Bank manager asks Funny Fellow in an interview: "What is cyclone" Funny Fellow: "It is the loan given to purchase a cycle"


Side Effects
He wanted to avoid side effects!

Bus tickets
Bus conductor: Ticket, ticket
Funny Fellow: Give two tickets
Conductor: Why two?
Funny Fellow: If I lose one, another will be there
Conductor: What if you lose both?
Funny Fellow: No problem, I have pass...

Advice
A famous Funny Fellow's declaration to the media: "I will never marry in my
life. And I will advise the same to my children too"

Oxygen
Teacher: Oxygen is very essential to life. It was discovered in 1773
Funny Fellow: Thank God!! I was born after 1773. Had I born earlier, I would have died...

Skeleton (This is Killer)
Interviewer: What is a skeleton?
Funny Fellow: Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting, but forgot to stop it!!. 

Educational TV advertisements

Few learnings from TV ad-

1. Kareena has dandruff problem, Katrina has dry hair problem, Shilpa has hairfall problem and Priyanka has chip-chip.

2. If you've a hot wife make sure your neighbor doesn't use a deodorant in your absence.

3. Your complexion is more important than your qualifications

4. Saif Ali Khan din bhar Appy Fizz & Lays khata hai and still Bade Aaram Se FIT rehta hai

5. If there is no salt in your kitchen you can use Toothpaste

6. You can change your country by drinking Tata Tea

7. Every second oral care brand is No. 1 and recommended by every dentist in India!!!

8. If ur daughter is not Ready to Get married.., take her to a jewellery shop.

9. Only reason why men use deodorant is to get laid.

10. Most colas cure all kinds of phobias. You will be close to a superman, if you drink these regularly!!

Don't believe even Yamdut

A Man was waiting to cross d HighWay but was hesitant because of speeding cars.

Suddenly d Yumdoot appeared & said, "Bachcha, Tu aise hi Darr raha hai...You are going to live past 90 years of age. Dont let such things scare you ever.

The Man moved forward with new courage, got hit by d first car and died.

In Heaven, He asked d Yumdoot as to why did he lie.

The Yumdoot answered, "Sorry man, Year Ending pressure tha, Had to achieve my numbers."
Happy Year Ending