Driver Pay

Pay your driver well and keep him happy. Otherwise you may face the same.

Power of Woman

A woman went shopping, At cash counter she opened her purse to pay. The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse. He cud'nt control his curiosity n asked "Do u always carry ur TV remote with u?" She replied " No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me for shopping today..

The story continues....

The shopkeeper laughs and takes back all the items that lady had purchased. Shocked at this act, she asks the shopkeeper what is he doing. He said your husband has blocked your credit card. MORAL : Respect the hobbies of your husband.

Story continues....

Wife took out his husbands credit card from purse and uses it to clear all the bills.

Unfortunately he didn't block his own card.

Moral:...... Dont underestimate the power of a WIFE.

Husband Wife Series

Every woman needs a husband, because daily thousand things go wrong & you can't blame god and government all the time.

There is no harm in treating husbands as atm machines, if they treat their wives as washing machine, dish washer, vacuum cleaner,cook, maid, waiter, teacher Etc!

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One man went to the doctor for problem of restlessness, uneasiness.

Doctor recommended that you need good sleep. Take these sleeping pills and give them to your wife twice a day.

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Poems written by WIFE and HUSBAND.

WIFE: I wrote your name on sand it got washed.. I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.

HUSBAND: God saw me hungry, he created pizza. He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi. He saw me in the dark, he created light. He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

WIFE: Twinkle twinkle little star You should know what you are And once you know what you are Mental hospital is not so far

HUSBAND: The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass and flowers too. If rain makes all things beautiful Why doesn't it rain on you?
WIFE: Roses are red; Violets are blue Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo. Don't feel so angry you will find me there too Not in cage but outside, laughing at you AND THE SAGA CONTINUES........ Position of a Husband Is just like a Split AC No matter however Loud he is in the Outdoor He is designed to remain Silent indoor
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"Husband is one who is the head of the family, but his wife is the neck, and whichever way she turns, he goes."

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A man in Hell asked Devil: Can I make a call to my Wife? After making call he asked how much to pay. Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

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Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!

Wife: No darling, it means - With Idiot For Ever
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Wife: I wish I was a newspaper, So I'd be in your hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper, So I could have a new one every day.

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Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping Pills. Wife: When must I give them to him? Doctor: They are for you
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Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.. Husband: You should have known it the minute I asked you to marry me.
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Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest ?

Husband: a gentle push!!!

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* Husband: I found Aladin's lamp today.

Wife: wow, what did u ask for darling??

Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times..

Wife: oh..jaan..luv u so much.. Did he do that??

Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero.
* Employee: Sir You are like a lion in the office! What about at home??

Boss: I am a lion at home too, But Goddess Durga sits on the lion there!

* A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary and wife didn't speak to him for 6 months. Was the necklace FAKE? Nooooo! That was the deal :)

* A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said, "the food looks delicious, let's eat."

Wife: honey.....you say prayer before eating at home.

Husband: that's at home sweetheart......here the chef knows how to cook!!

* Best Slogan on a MAN's T-Shirt : "Please Do Not Disturb me, I am Married and already very Disturbed...
* Sign Board outside AIR INDIA plane:

Welcome to Warm & Motherly Treatment with us.

Warm because AC is not working.... and Motherly because all Air hostess are above 50....!!

Money Materials and Gujju

A rich Gujju had an accident & his new BMW was badly damaged. The cops came and the Gujju says sadly "Officer maari brand new car!" ... Cop: You all Gujjus' materialistic nature makes me sick & you are so blinded by money that you don't even realise that your left arm has gone in the accident. Gujju looks at his left arm and shouts... "O Siiiit! .... Maari Rolex

Dual Sim Phone Caution

⛔ CAUTION : ⛔

Even if your wife uses dual sim phone, save both the number under one name : "WIFE" ...... 

Never save it as "wife 1" and "wife 2"... : from a Hospitalised Husband.

Definition of Marriage By Big One's

Some global opinions on marriages.. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Al Gore By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Mike Tyson I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Bill Clinton "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." - George W. Bush "I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." - Rudy Giuliani "There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." - Michael Jordan Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it. 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Shaquille O'Neal The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.. - Kobe Bryant You know what I did before I married?? Anything I wanted to. - David Hasselhoff My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. - Alec Baldwin A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Barack Obama

One Liners On India

Funny but true 10 oneliners from INDIA 1. India is a country where on the streets, everyone seems to be in a hurry, but no one is ever on time. 2. Here people wear helmets to save their pockets, not life. 3. Being one in a million in India means that there are 1241 Indians just like you. 4. In Bangalore if you throw a stone, you hit a dog, or a software engineer. 5. If someone asks for a dirty cloth to clean something, you are in India. 6. In India, it’s okay to piss in public, but not kiss. 7. In India two things never leave you, your caste and your high school marks. 8.When it comes to taking a stand on world issues, India is like a girl giving mixed signals. 9. A country whose onions and tomatoes have more value than dollars. 10 .In India, there are two types of roads: Under Construction and Under Repair.

New Medical Dictionary

*Antibody : Against everybody *Artery : Study of fine paintings *Genes : Blue denims *Labour pain : Hurt at work *Liposuction : French kiss *Microbes : Small dressing gowns *Cardiology : Advanced study of playing cards *Cat scan : Searching lost cat *Coma : Punctuation mark *Bacteria : Back door to cafeteria.