Dangerous Qualities Of Husband Wife

Most Dangerous Qualities of Wives:
She listens HALF, Understands QUARTER, Thinks ZERO, Reacts DOUBLE, and REMEMBERS 100%

Most Dangerous Qualities of husbands :
He listens nothing Understands everything, Output ZERO, Reacts DOUBLE, and REMEMBERS 0%

Great Daughter In Law

Daughter in law : Is my nose flat?
Mother in law : No Baby

Daughter in law : Am I fat like an Elephant?
Mother in law : U have a fine physique, U R a Barbie Doll.

Daughter in law : Am I dark colour?
Mother in law : No no, U R so sweet.

Daughter in law : Then why people tell me that U look like your mother in law ?
Mother in law : Laawan Jutti, Bandri Jaee, Majj kisay thaan di.. Kali Habhshan... kidaan bakwaas kardi ae.

Save Yourself From Diabetes

This is very very serious.......

Read carefully...

Prevent yourself and your spouse from diabetes.

A couple married for 20yrs was recently diagnosed with diabetes.

Findings showed that they both contacted the disease as a result of the names they called each other such as Honey, Sweety, Chocopie, Sweetheart, Jaanu and Laddu..

So please start calling your spouse by names 'Karela', 'Hing', 'Hari Mirch', 'Pyaaj', 'Lassun', 'Bitterleaf', 'Lal Mirch', 'Bitterlemon', 'Adrak'....etc

Comments On Facebook Status

A Girl's facebook status:-

"Travelled in Bus after long time"

Comments Left by Male friends :-

1) Awww, so sweet..!!!

2) May be nextime will go together sweetie...!!!

3) Wow, i want to experience it..!!!

4) You went without me..?

5) Wonderful dear..!!!

6) Superlike!!!

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A Boy's facebook status "Travelled in Bus after a long time.."

Comment by boys

1. What shall be do.

2. You can travel in Bus only..!!

3. What is this now you will update your taxi travel also.  

4. Tell your father to get you bicycle atleast.

5. Be the conductor of that bus.!

And the last one is killer

6. You have taken ticket or not..?

Smart Kid Of Today's Generation

In a Nursery School Canteen, there's a basket of apples with a notice written over it: 'Do not take more than one, God is watching'

On d other counter there's a box of chocolates, A small child went & wrote on it. "Take as many as U want, God is busy watching d apples".

NEVER ACT SMART WITH today's generation..!!.

Definition Of Punjabi's

For all those who don't know abt "Punjabi's"

Syaapa- A one word definition of any disaster

Tastiest meal on earth- Langar

The one thing that brings a smile on every Punjabi's face - Rajma Chawal
Punjabi Fitness mantra- One bottle a day, keeps the doctor away

Being 'LOUD' is our birth right, and we shall have it! Its never 'Haaan', its always 'Hanji'!

You know you are a punjabi when your grandmom thinks you are 'very kamzor (weak)' even when you are over weight.

Any conversation between two Punjabis for more than 15 minutes can only be about different brands of whisky.

There's always that one uncle who will dance with a glass on his head after a few pegs at every party!

You can take a Punjabi out of Punjab, But you cannot take Punjab out of a Punjabi!

Our families are often so loud when they're happy , people think we're fighting !

The 5 P's of Punjabiness- Parantha, Paisa, Peg, Parshad, Pinni ( kind of a laddu with lots of dryfruits)

We specialize in the art of earning 1 Rs and spending Rs 1.5 ! 

Our Biggest Tensions- When to eat ? What to eat ? With whom to eat? 'Kal se daruu band aur dieting shuru'-

Things we say everyday!

Punjabi after 6 pegs- 'Doosra hai yaar' !

Life is full of problems... But there are some KEYS that can help you.. like:
Saanu key
Tuannu key
Aay key,
O key
Hoya key
Te fair key
And to top it all... ...
Whis-key
Contact Punjabis for these keys.

And if all these fail then maa key and behen key

Funny definition of Education

Decide what you want to do

Beware of Smart Girls

One of the smart answer.. . On a flight, a guy asked to a beautiful lady sitting just next to him... 'Nice perfume.....which one is it?...i want to gift it to my wife...!!' Lady 'Don't give her....some idiot will find an excuse to talk to her...!'

Husband Wife Series 2

American: Do you guys call your wives 'Honey' in your native language?

Indian: No, we call them 'bee-bee' - They sting twice as hard as the honey bee.

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HEATED Gold is called Ornament

BEATED Copper is called Wire

COMPRESSED Carbon is called Diamond

&

HEATED, BEATED & COMPRESSED Person is called HUSBAND...!
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Man outside phone booth: Excuse me ! You are holding the phone since 20 mins. & haven't spoken a word.

MAN INSIDE- I am talking to my wife.

MAN OUTSIDE - SORRY

RJ's Beware of Such Callers

Ramu calls up The Radio Station

Ramu : Hello is this the Radio Station?

RJ : Yes sir! You are our first caller! Congratulations! Your name?

Ramu : Yeah I'm Ramu. Is this the morning show with Karan? Am I audible to the whole city?

RJ : Haan sir! The whole city can hear You!

Ramu : My sister is at home and she is listening to the radio. Can she hear my voice ?

RJ : Yeah! Obvious!  Sir tell me what msg You wanna convey?

Ramu: Hey Padma if You can hear my voice, plz go switch on the pump! I'm in the toilet in the room upstairs and there's no water here! I called your cell it's switched off! I had no other option

RJ : What the hell?

Funny Touching Moment

Enjoy the funny touching moment.

Nice click

Mechanic And Doctor

A mechanic was removing the engine parts from a motorcycle,when he saw famous heart surgeon in his shop.. He called the surgeon n said.. "Look at this engine... I opened its heart,took the valves out, repaired and put them back"...So why do I get such a small salary and u get such a huge sum.... The doctor smiled at the mechanic and came close 2 his ear and said.... "Try the same when the engine is running.".

Price Of Women Tears

Never make a women cry.. There is nothing more expensive than a female tear When a single drop comes out, it first mixes with 'Loreal' eyeliner (Rs.650) & 'Dior' mascara (Rs.2500)... Then when it rolls down the cheek, it mixes with 'D&G' blusher (Rs.2500).. & finally when it touches the lips, it gets mixed with 'Maybelline' lipstick (Rs.350) .. This means that a single drop is ruining Rs.6000 Pls don't make them cry guys.. It wld b difficult to afford it.. Issued in public interest !