Best One Liners

Great one liners:

1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.

2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.

3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.

5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.

6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train.

7. Born free, taxed to death.

8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

12. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

13. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork..

14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.

16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?

19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!

20. If you can't convince them, confuse them.

21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.

22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers

24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

25. Someday is not a day of the week

26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.

28. The road to success.... Is always under construction.

29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

Indian State With Highest English Speaking Population

Which State in India has highest English speaking population?

Answer : Before 8 pm. -- Kerala
After 8 pm ---- Punjab

For communication skills,
U don't need any classes....
Only glasses.

Solution To Problem Called Wife

If ever You feel overloaded by wife, life or work..

immediately go to the nearest "Biological Anxiety Relief" (BAR) center & place order for any one or more of the following Antidotes:

1: Wife Isolating Neutralizing Extract (WINE)
2: Refreshing Unique Medicine (RUM)
3: Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER)
4: Vaccino Officio Depression Killing Antigen (VODKA).

This is issued in public interest by "Buddies for Eradication of Work Disease Association (BEWDA)

CHEERS!!!

Aunti Patakha

मैं खुशी खुशी में सड़क पर अपने कुछ दोस्तों के साथ पटाखे फोड़ने लगा .. अभी एक पटाखे में बत्ती छिल कर चिंगारी लगाई ही थी की सामने से एक आंटी आती दिखी ..

मैं और में दोस्त हम सब चिल्लाने लगे ...

आंटी पटाखा है ....
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आंटी पटाखा है ..
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आंटी पटाखा है ...
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आंटी मुस्कराई और बोली :

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" नही रे पगलो , अब पहले जैसी बात कहाँ