Difference between "Facebook" and "Whatsapp" conversation :
On "Whatsapp" -
Wife : kaha time pass kar rahe ho? Ghar aao... khana fridge mein rakha hai!
Husband : theek hai.... Dimaag mat chaato. Jab dekho pareshaan karti rehti ho.
On "FaceBook" -
Wife : Jaanu, when will you be back? Dinner's ready. Waiting for u, luv!
(Status liked by 10 of her friends)
Husband : Thanks for being there always. So lucky to have a wonderful wife like you. Will be back soon honey. (Status liked by 5 friends, sister-in-law & mother-in-law)
Thursday
Husband Wife Fun
Army officer's wife to Sahayak:-
Main rest karne Jaa Rahi Hun. Gas Pe Cooker Chadhaya hai... Teen Seeti Sunte Hi Gas Bandh Kar Dena.
Sahayak:-Jee Memsahib.
Ma'm had just started to relax when Sahayak knocks.....
Officer's Wife:-Kya hai?
Sahayak:- Seeti Aap Bajayenge Ya Sahib??
------------------------------------Nothing can make a Husband Sleep Immediately
Than These few words by wife
"I want to talk to you"
------------------------------------
Wife: Imagine karo agar mai aapki har baat samjhun aur har baat maanu toh....??
Husband hasta hai...
Bahut hasta hai...
Haste haste zameen par gir jata hai aur khushi se chilla ke kehta hai.... " Saala imagine bhi nahi kar paa Raha hoon ".
------------------------------------
Husband: Another new dress?
"Where do you think I'm going to get the money from to pay for it?"
Wife: "That's your business," I didn't marry you to give you financial consultation."
Wednesday
Scientific Technical Jokes
Technical Jokes:
Scientists were playing hide & seek in heaven.
Einstein was seeker.
Newton didn't hide & stood in a square of 1 meter.
Einstein: I found u Newton !! Thhappa !!!
Newton: U are Wrong.
I am not Newton. As I am standing in 1 mtr square, I am Newton/per mt sq. So I am Pascal.
-----------------------------
Q: What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
A: "You may have graduated but I've got many degrees"
--------------------------
Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together?
OMg!
----------------------------
Did you know Oxygen went on a date with Potassium?
It was OK.
-------------------------------
A photon walks into a hotel. The porter asks, "May I take your bags?" The photon replies "It's fine, thanks. I'm travelling light.
-----------------------------
Atom 1: I just lost an electron.
Atom 2: Are you sure?
Atom 1: I'm positive.
Q:What do you get when you mix 2 iron atoms & cobalt
CoFFee
------------------------------
: What do you get after reaction of two sodium atoms with a Barium atom...
A BaNaNa
-----------------------------
Q: Why did a scientist install a door knocker?
A: coz he wanted to win a no-bell prize!!!!!!
Scientists were playing hide & seek in heaven.
Einstein was seeker.
Newton didn't hide & stood in a square of 1 meter.
Einstein: I found u Newton !! Thhappa !!!
Newton: U are Wrong.
I am not Newton. As I am standing in 1 mtr square, I am Newton/per mt sq. So I am Pascal.
-----------------------------
Q: What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
A: "You may have graduated but I've got many degrees"
--------------------------
Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together?
OMg!
----------------------------
Did you know Oxygen went on a date with Potassium?
It was OK.
-------------------------------
A photon walks into a hotel. The porter asks, "May I take your bags?" The photon replies "It's fine, thanks. I'm travelling light.
-----------------------------
Atom 1: I just lost an electron.
Atom 2: Are you sure?
Atom 1: I'm positive.
Q:What do you get when you mix 2 iron atoms & cobalt
CoFFee
------------------------------
: What do you get after reaction of two sodium atoms with a Barium atom...
A BaNaNa
-----------------------------
Q: Why did a scientist install a door knocker?
A: coz he wanted to win a no-bell prize!!!!!!
Thursday
Boss and Secretary
A boss from a motor company walked into his office one morning, not knowing that his zip was down.
His beautiful secretary walked up to him and asked,
"Boss, this morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?"
This was not a phrase that her Boss understood, so he went into his office looking a bit puzzled.
When he was done with his paper work, he suddenly noticed that his zipper was not zipped up. He zipped it up and remembered what his secretary had asked him; finally understood.
Then he intentionally went out to ask for a cup of coffee from his secretary.
When he reached her desk, he said,
"When you saw the garage door open, did you see my JAGUAR parked in there?"
The secretary smiled for a moment and said,
"No, Boss, I didn't.
All I saw was "A TATA NANO with 2 flat tyres
His beautiful secretary walked up to him and asked,
"Boss, this morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?"
This was not a phrase that her Boss understood, so he went into his office looking a bit puzzled.
When he was done with his paper work, he suddenly noticed that his zipper was not zipped up. He zipped it up and remembered what his secretary had asked him; finally understood.
Then he intentionally went out to ask for a cup of coffee from his secretary.
When he reached her desk, he said,
"When you saw the garage door open, did you see my JAGUAR parked in there?"
The secretary smiled for a moment and said,
"No, Boss, I didn't.
All I saw was "A TATA NANO with 2 flat tyres
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