Marriage One Liners

. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.


. Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

. Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!


. Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

. It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

. It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives !


. A man who surrenders when he's wrong, is Honest. A man who surrenders when not Sure, is Wise. A man who surrenders even if he's Right, is a Husband.


. If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day


. Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.


. There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage



. Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during wedding ?
To tell each other affectionately... Sweetheart U R Dead !


. Different Phases of a man:
After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman

. There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it


. Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?

Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.


. Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

You May Like more such jokes here:-
More Marriage One Liners

Think before making a wish

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table saying,

"For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time,
I will grant you each a wish."

"Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband," said the wife.

The fairy waved her magic wand and -- poof!
Two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment, and then said,
"Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again.

I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me."

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.

So the fairy waved her magic wand and -- poof!

The husband became 92 years old.

Keep yourself updated with Technology

Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.

One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood

( the woodcutter and the axe )

He started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.

As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, "

Is this your computer ?

" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, " No."

She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.
Annoyed, the engineer said "

No, not at all !!"

Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.
The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."

The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"

The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !". So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!