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Jokes for Enjoyment

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Jokes You May Like

Sunday

Funny.... Leave Applications

See , how people write leave Applications.




It's murder of English language. But Too Funny.

Just Read It.



The Leave Applications;)



Infosys , Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:

"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife , please sanction me one-week leave."





This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:



"as I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days.."



Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:



"as I am marrying my daughter , please grant a week's leave.."





From H.A.L. Administration Dept:

"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it , please grant me 10 days leave."





Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:

"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return , please grant me half day casual leave"





An incident of a leave letter:

"I am suffering from fever , please declare one-day holiday."





A leave letter to the headmaster:

"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"





Another leave letter written to the headmaster:

"As my headache is paining , please grant me leave for the day."





Covering note:

"I am enclosed herewith..."





Another one:

"Dear Sir: with reference to the above , please refer to my below..."





Actual letter written for application of leave:

"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".





Letter writing:-

"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."





A candidate's job application:

"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience , I am applying for the post.

Husband Wife Jokes


Woh kaun thi

Husband Aur Wife Hotel Me Gaye Tabhi 1 Lady Ne

Hello Kiya,

Wife- Koun Thi Wo?

Hus-Tum Dimag Kharab Mat Karo, Main Pehle Hi Pareshan Hu Ki Woh Bhi Yehi Puchegi





Wife hit her husband with frying pan



Husband: What was that for...?

Wife: I found a paper in your pocket

with the name Jenny on it.

Husband: I took part in a race last week

and Jenny was the name of my horse.

Wife: Sorry..!

Next day wife hit him with the frying pan again

Husband: What now..?

Wife: Your horse is on the Phone.



Message of the year



Women live a better, longer & peaceful life...!!

Why? Very simple…

A woman does not have a wife..!!!



Wife came home with a goat

Husband asked"Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?"

Wife:"Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!"

Husband:"Bakri se hi poch raha hon"



Husband wife mein ladai ho gayi

Husband wife mein ladai ho gayi,

Husband ghar se chala gaya ,

Husb:Rat ko phone pay,"Khanay mein kya hai"

Wife:Zeher.

Husb:Mai dair se aoonga, tum kha kar so jana:



Missing Wife

Man: Sir, my wife is missing.

Postmaster:bhai ye post office hai, police station me complain dijiyee.

Man:Kya karon, khushi k mare kuch samajh nahin aa raha



Why did u shoot ur wife ? This is the best......

Judge:why did u shoot ur wife, instead of shooting her lover?

Guilty:Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.



How women call their husband in first 6 years

How woman calls their husband in first 6 years

Yr 1. Janu

Yr 2. O jee.

Yr 3. Sunte ho?

Yr 4. O bunty k pappa

Yr 5. Kahan mar gaye?

Yr 6. Tum aate ho ya main aaon?



Wife to husband:- kash aap sms hotay

Wife: Jaanu kash aap SMS hotay, Main aap ko save karti,

Husband:

Jaan-e-man, kaash tum ring tone hoti, Main her haftay tumhe change karta



1 horror movie dekhi

Husband:rat ko mene 1 horror movie dekhi, 1 chudeil kabhi mere age

kabhi piche aur kabhi sath chal rahi thi,

Wife:Kaun si movie thi?

Husband:Apni shadi ki





Which Rose to give when

All about Roses

Red Rose - Love

Red (Dark) - Unconscious beauty

Red (Single) - "I Love You"

Deep Burgundy - Unconscious Beauty

Black - Death, Farewell

Blue - The unattainable, the impossible

White  - Purity, Innocence, Silence, Secrecy, Reverence, Humility, Youthfulness,

White (Bridal) - Happy love

Purple  - Signify that the giver has fallen in love with the recipient at first sight.

Pink  - Appreciation, "Thank you", Grace, Perfect Happiness, Admiration, Gentleness, "Please Believe Me"

Light Pink  - Feelings of Admiration and Sympathy

Dark Pink - Appreciation, Gratitude, "Thank You"

Yellow - Joy, Gladness, Friendship, Delight, Promise of a new beginning, Welcome Back, Remember Me,  Jealousy, "I care"

Yellow with Red Tip - Friendship, Falling in Love

Orange - Desire, Enthusiasm

Red and White  - Given together, these signify unity

Red and Yellow - Jovial and Happy Feelings

Peach - Appreciation, Closing the deal, Let's get together, Sincerity, Gratitude

Pale - Peach Modesty

Coral - Desire

Lavender - Love at first sight, Enchantment

Orange -  Enthusiasm, Desire, Fascination


Red Rosebud - Symbolic of purity and loveliness

White Rosebud - Symbolic of girlhood

Thorn-less Rose -  "Love at first sight"

Tuesday

New blockbuster of god

God seems to be planning for making a blockbuster this year ..
Since he's been gathering the best with Him..

Cast : Dev Anand, Rajesh khanna , Shammi Kappor, Dara singh,

Director : Yash Chopra

Singer : Jagjit singh,

Comedian : Jaspal Bhatti

Godfather : Balasaheb Thackeray

Producer & Financer : Ponty Chadha

And recently the Villian : Kasab

So be ready for a big hit

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