Staying at a small-town hotel, Tom ordered tea. Shortly afterwards, a girl threw open the door. Sugar in your tea? She shouted.No, thank you, Tom replied. Ah, well, don't stir it then.
Wednesday
Doctor & Patient
The doctor had just finished giving the young man a thorough physical examination.The best thing for you to do,. the doctor said, is give up drinking and smoking, get to bed early and stay away from women...Doctor, I don.t deserve the best,. said the patient. What is the next best?.
Thursday
Killing English ......
Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigerette... ? "
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Class teacher once said :
" Pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Once hindi teacher said...."i'm going out of the world to america.."
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
dont..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said
" why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
teacher in a furious mood...
write down ur name and father of ur name!!
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
My manager started like this
"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF"
************ ********* ********* ************ *
LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Chemistry HOD comes and tells us...
"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!"
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..
"I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??
************ ********* ********* ********* *****
Seing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..
"Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
Class teacher once said :
" Pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Once hindi teacher said...."i'm going out of the world to america.."
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
dont..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said
" why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
teacher in a furious mood...
write down ur name and father of ur name!!
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
My manager started like this
"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF"
************ ********* ********* ************ *
LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Chemistry HOD comes and tells us...
"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!"
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..
"I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??
************ ********* ********* ********* *****
Seing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..
"Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"
Monday
Definitions of designations
1) Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.
2) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.
7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.
9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby.
10) HR is a person who thinks that a donkey can deliver a human baby if given 9 months
2) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.
7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.
9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby.
10) HR is a person who thinks that a donkey can deliver a human baby if given 9 months
LADKIYON KI KAHANI
LADKIYON KI KAHANI:
If v treat her nice she says "yaar mujhe line de raha hai"
If v dont she says "kitna akarta hai"
If v dress nicely she says "mujhe impress karna chahta hai"
If v dont she says "tasteless hai yaar"
If v argue with her she says "ziddi hai"
If v sit quietly she says "dumb hai"
If v act smarter she'll lose her brain as u r insulting her
If she acts smarter she thinks its her right
If v dont love her she says "is ka to pehle se hi 2,3 ladkiyon ka saath chakkar hai"
If v love her she says "peechhe hi pad gayaa hai"
If v dont tell her ur prob she says " u r not honest 2 me"
If u do tell to her she says "u r a problem child"
If v scold her she says "you act like a grandpa giving lecture"
If she scolds us she says "Yaar, its becoz i care"
If v break a promise she says "I dont not trust u any more"
If she breaks she says "jaan main majboor thi....
ladkiyan re ladkiya
If v treat her nice she says "yaar mujhe line de raha hai"
If v dont she says "kitna akarta hai"
If v dress nicely she says "mujhe impress karna chahta hai"
If v dont she says "tasteless hai yaar"
If v argue with her she says "ziddi hai"
If v sit quietly she says "dumb hai"
If v act smarter she'll lose her brain as u r insulting her
If she acts smarter she thinks its her right
If v dont love her she says "is ka to pehle se hi 2,3 ladkiyon ka saath chakkar hai"
If v love her she says "peechhe hi pad gayaa hai"
If v dont tell her ur prob she says " u r not honest 2 me"
If u do tell to her she says "u r a problem child"
If v scold her she says "you act like a grandpa giving lecture"
If she scolds us she says "Yaar, its becoz i care"
If v break a promise she says "I dont not trust u any more"
If she breaks she says "jaan main majboor thi....
ladkiyan re ladkiya
Tuesday
Great Leave Letters from Techies
I hope you enjoy these leave applications. Cheers!
See , how people write leave Applications.
It's murder of English language. But Too Funny.
Just Read It.
The Leave Applications;)
Infosys , Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
'Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife ,
please sanction me one-week leave.'
This is from Oracle Bangalore: From an employee who was performing the
'mundan' ceremony of his 10 year old son:
'as I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days..'
Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing
his daughter's wedding:
'as I am marrying my daughter , please grant a week's leave..'
From H.A.L. Administration Dept:
'As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it ,
please grant me 10 days leave.'
Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
'Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not
return , please grant me half day casual leave'
An incident of a leave letter:
'I am suffering from fever , please declare one-day holiday.'
A leave letter to the headmaster:
'As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request
you to leave me today'
Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
'As my headache is paining , please grant me leave for the day.'
Covering note:
'I am enclosed herewith...'
Another one:
'Dear Sir: with reference to the above , please refer to my below...'
Actual letter written for application of leave:
'My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home
I may be granted leave'.
Letter writing:-
'I am well here and hope you are also in the same well.'
A candidate's job application:
'This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an
Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several
years and I can handle both with good experience , I am applying for the
post.
I hope you enjoy these leave applications. Cheers!
See , how people write leave Applications.
See , how people write leave Applications.
It's murder of English language. But Too Funny.
Just Read It.
The Leave Applications;)
Infosys , Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
'Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife ,
please sanction me one-week leave.'
This is from Oracle Bangalore: From an employee who was performing the
'mundan' ceremony of his 10 year old son:
'as I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days..'
Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing
his daughter's wedding:
'as I am marrying my daughter , please grant a week's leave..'
From H.A.L. Administration Dept:
'As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it ,
please grant me 10 days leave.'
Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
'Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not
return , please grant me half day casual leave'
An incident of a leave letter:
'I am suffering from fever , please declare one-day holiday.'
A leave letter to the headmaster:
'As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request
you to leave me today'
Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
'As my headache is paining , please grant me leave for the day.'
Covering note:
'I am enclosed herewith...'
Another one:
'Dear Sir: with reference to the above , please refer to my below...'
Actual letter written for application of leave:
'My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home
I may be granted leave'.
Letter writing:-
'I am well here and hope you are also in the same well.'
A candidate's job application:
'This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an
Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several
years and I can handle both with good experience , I am applying for the
post.
I hope you enjoy these leave applications. Cheers!
See , how people write leave Applications.
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