US kids version of Ramayan

-->

A young second generation Indian in the US
was asked by his mother
to explain the significance of "Diwali" to his
younger brother, this is how he
went about it...

" So, like this
dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him.
But, like, his
step-mom, or something, was kind of a bitch, and she forced
her husband to,
like, send this cool-dude, he was Ram, to some national
forest or something....
Since he was going, for like, something like more than 10
years or so.... he
decided to get his wife and his bro along... you know...so
that they could all
chill out together. But Dude, the forest was reeeeal scary
shit... really
man...they had monkeys and devil s and shit like that. But
this dude, Ram,
kicked with darts and bows and arrows... so it was fine.


But then some bad gangsta
boys, some jerk called
Ravan, picks up his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his
hood. And boy, was our
man, and also his bro, Laxman, pissed... all the gods were
with him... So
anyways, you don't mess with gods. So, Ram, and his bro
get an army of
monkeys... Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn
monkeys... just go along
with me, ok...

So, Ram, Lax and
their monkeys whip this gangsta's ass in his own
hood.... Anyways, by this time,
their time's up in the forest... and anyways... it gets
kinda boring, you
know... no TV or malls or shit like that. So,they deci ded
to hitch a ride back
home... and when the people realize that our dude, his bro
and the wife are back
home... they thought, well, you know, at least they deserve
something nice...
and they didn't have any bars or clubs in those days...
so they couldn't take
them out for a drink, so they, like, decided to smoke and
shit... and since they
also had some lamps, they lit the lamps also...so it was
pretty cooool... you
know with all those fireworks.... Really, they even had
some local band play
along with the fireworks... and you know, what, dude, that
was the very first,
no kidding.., that was the very first music-synchronized
fireworks... you know,
like the 4th of July stuff, but just, more cooler and
stuff, you know. And, so
dude,
that was how, like, this festival
started."

The mother fainted..