Loyalty Test for husband

Attention Please

Loyalty Test

Wife buys 12 underwears of same colour 4 hubby..

Hubby- Why same colour sweetheart. people will think I never change my underwear.

Wife- Which people

Total silence...

Audit in ramayan era

भगवान राम जब अयोध्या लौट कर आये थे,
यदि उस समय
हमारी मिडिया रही होती तो प्रेस
कांफ्रेंस में कैसे कैसे सवाल करती.....

-आपके टीम के श्री हनुमान को लंका सन्देश
देने भेजा था पर उन्होंने वहाँ आग
लगा दी.... क्या आपकी टीम में अंदरूनी तौर
पर वैचारिक मतभेद है?

- क्या हनुमान के ऊपर अशोक
वाटिका उजाड़ने के आरोप में वन विभाग
द्वारा मुकदमा नहीं चलाया जाना चाहिए?

- आपके सहयोगी श्री सुग्रीव पर अपने भाई
का राज्य हड़पने का आरोप है|....क्या आपने
इसकी जांच करवाई?

- क्या ये सच है कि सुग्रीव की राज्य हड़पने
की साजिश के मास्टर माइंड आप है?

- आप चौदह साल तक वनवास में रहे...
आपको अपने खर्चे चलाने के लिए फंड कहाँ से
मिले?

- क्या आपने उस फंड का ऑडिट करवाया है?

- आपने सिर्फ रावण पर हमला क्यों किया,
जबकि राक्षस और भी थे? क्या ये
लंका की डेमोक्रेसी को अस्थिर करने
की साजिश थी?

- क्या ये सच नहीं है कि रावण को परेशान
करने के मकसद से आपने उनके परिवार के
निर्दोष लोगो जैसे कुम्भकरण पर
हमला किया?

- क्या आपकी टीम के हनुमान
द्वारा संजीवनी बूटी की जगह पूरा पहाड
उखाड़ लेना सरकारी जमीन के साथ छेड़छाड़
नहीं?

- क्या ये सच नहीं कि आपने हमले से पहले
समुद्र पर पुल बनाने का ठेका अपने
करीबी नल और नील को नहीं दिया?

- आपने पुल बनाने के लिए
छोटी छोटी गिलहरियों से काम
करवाया..... क्या इसके लिए आप पर बाल
श्रम कानून के तहत
मुकदमा नहीं चलाया जाना चाहिए?

- आपने बिना किसी पद पर रहते हुए युद्ध के
समय इन्द्र से सहायता प्राप्त की और
उनका रथ लेकर रावण पर हमला किया..
क्या आप इन्द्र की टीम ए है?

- इस सहायता के बदले में क्या आपने इन्द्र
को ये
वादा नहीं किया कि अयोध्या का राजा बनने
के बाद आप उन्हें अयोध्या के आस पास
की जमीन दे देंगे?

- आप युद्ध में अयोध्या से रथ न मंगवा कर
इन्द्र से रथ लिया.... क्या ये इन्द्र
की कंपनी को लाभ पहुंचाने के उद्देश्य से
किया गया?

Save yourself from friends

3 kaale dost ek sath ja rahe the.

Raste me ek pari milti hai,
Pari- "ek-ek wish batao main poori karugi."
1st.-"Mujhe gora aur khubsurat kardo." Pari ne kar dia.

2nd- "mujhe bhi aisa kar do." Pari ne kar diya.

3rd  zor zor se hasne laga or phir bola........
" Inko wapas pehle jaisa kardo......?

Moral- Dost bohot kamine hote hai.....

Medical terms and their definition in bollywood songs

HINDI SONGS & THEIR
MEDICAL INTERPRETATIONS:

Jiya Jale jaan jale,
Raat bhar dhuan chale
-FEVER

Tadap tadap ke is dil se
aah nikalti rahi
-HEART ATTACK

Suhani raat dhal
chuki ...naa jaane tum kab
aoge
-CONSTIPATION

Bidi jalayle jigar se piya
jigar ma badi aag he
-ACIDITY

Tujhme rab dikhta
hai ..yaara main kya karoo
-CATARACT

Tuje yaad na meri aayi kisi
se ab kya kahna
-ALZHEIMER'S

Mann dole mera tann dole
-VERTIGO

Tip tip barsa paani,
paani ne aag lagayee
-URINARY INFECTION

Dil Dhadak Dhadak ke keh
raha he..
-HYPERTENSION

Aaj Kal Paaon Zameen par
nahi padte mere..
-CORN ON FEET

Haay re
haay Neend nahin aaye..
-INSOMNIA

Batana bi nahi aata,
Chupana bi nahi aata..
-PILES

And Above All

Lagi Aaj Saawan ki phir
woh Zadi he..
-LOOSE MOTION

Moral behind ramayan

Poori Ramayan biwiyo ki kahani hai!

LAXMAN apni biwi ko ghar pe chhodkar chala aaya...

RAAVAN doosre ki utha ke phas gaya...

Sugreev ne RAM ka saath is liye diya kyo ki use apni biwi Bali se wapis chaahiye thi...

HANUMAN ki apni thi hi nahi magar doosre ki dhoondhne ke chakkar me LANKA jalaa daali...

RAM ko apni waapis chaahiye thi to use 10 din tak yuddh karna pada, aur end me kya hua??

jis biwi ke kaaran itni RAMAYAN hui wo to underground ho gayi.

Abhi socho itna jhamela hua kyo??

Kyo ki DASHRATH ki 3 biwiya thi!!

MORAL: Puraane zamaane se hi biwi ki magajmaari chali aa rahi hai. Jab bhagwaan hi biwi se nahi bach sake to HUM  to aakhir insaan hai....

Husband wife series

Ek biwi Behosh Ho Gayi...!!

Doctor - Yeh Mar Gai Hai...

Jab Usko Jalane Lage to Woh uth baithi aur Boli Main Zinda Hoon...!!

Husband - Chupchap Padi Reh gawar, tu Doctor Se Zyada Janti Hai Kya..?
Jalao ji Jalao

Husband's tragedy wife romance

2 Woman friends were chatting in office

Woman 1: I had a fine evening,
how was yours?

Woman 2: It was a disaster. My
husband came home, ate his
... dinner in 3 mins & fell asleep in 2
mins. How was yours?

Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My
husband came home and took me
out for a romantic dinner. After
dinner we walked for an hour.
When we came home he lit the
candles around the house. It was
like a fairy tale!

At the same time, their husbands
are talking at work
Husband 1: How was your evening?

Husband 2: Great. I came home,
dinner was on the table, I ate & fell
asleep. What about you?

Husband 1: It was horrible. I came
home, there's no dinner, they cut
the electricity because I forgot to
pay the bill; so I took her out for
dinner which was so expensive
that didn't have money left for a
cab.
We walked home which took an
hour & when we got home
remember there was no electricity
so I had to light candles all over the
house!!

Moral: Presentation does matter.
No matter what the reality is xU

Funny laws of truth

Murphys Funny laws:

1) Law of Queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

2) Law of Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy tone.

3) Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

4) Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

6) Bath Theorem: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

7) Law of Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8) Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. 

9) Law of Bio mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10) Theatre Rule: People with the seats at the furthest from the screen arrive last.

11) Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will
last until the coffee is cold.

12) Law of Proposal : After u accept a proposal you will get a better one..

Take care of your Children education

Effect of alcohol

Son came home drunk. To avoid mom's scolding, he took a laptop & started working.

Mom: Piye ho kya? 

Son: Nahi ma...

Mom: Bewde, phir suitcase khol ke kya type kar raha hain?

Ideal wife

Bhakt: Swami ji, aisi Patni ko kya kahte h jo Gori ho,Lambi ho, sundar ho, Inteligent ho, Pati ko samjhe, Or kabhi jhagda n kare

Swami: Man ka Vaham kahte hain Beta, Man ka Vaham.

Husband wife series

Husband texts to wife on cell... Hi...what r u doing darling?                             
Wife: i m dying...!          

Husband jumps with joy but types"sweet heart; how can i live without.......u?                   

Wife:u idiot i m dying my hair...."                         
husband:bloody english language!