Great One Liners

Few classics:- Just for laugh...
An intelligent wife is one who spends so much that her husband can't afford another woman.

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Cool message by a woman: Dear mother-in-law,"­don't teach me how to handle my children,I'm living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement."

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A kid was beaten by his mom.
Dad came home and asked, What happened son??
Kid said, can't adjust with your wife anymore, I need my own.?

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In an African safari, a lion suddenly bounced on wife.
Wife: Shoot him! Shoot him!
Husband: Yes, yes. I'm changing the battery in my camera..

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What is the difference between mother and wife?
One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.

Beware Office Phone Users

The phone bill was exceptionally high. Man called a family meeting to discuss.

Dad: This is unacceptable. I don't use home phone, I use my work phone.

Mum: Me too. I hardly use home phone. I use my companies phone

Son: I use my office mobile, I never use the home phone.

All of them shocked and together look at the maid who's patiently listening to them.

Maid: "What? So we all use our work phones. What's the Big deal?? 

Husband Wife Series

Wife takes very ill husband to a Doctor.

Doctor advices to wife : 

- Give him healthy breakfast daily

- Be pleasant & in good mood 

- Cook tasty dinner 

- Don't discuss your problems with him 

- Stop watching tv shows & facebook n whats app

- Don't demand new jewels 

If u can do this for one year, Ur husband will be ok.

On the way to home, husband asks wife : 

What did Doctor say ?

Wife : Sorry darling you will not live long