Take Care While Praying In Foreign Country

In case of an emergency, speak only in English !!

Never say prayers in any other language!

You never know what kind of translation problem u can run into :)

An Indian in the US suffered a heart attack on the road and was picked up by an ambulance.

Being religious, he kept repeating - Hari Om, Hari Om, Hari Om.

When the ambulance pulled into his home, his wife came out and screamed to the paramedics:
'Why didn't you take him straight to the hospital?'

They replied "Because he kept saying,
'Hurry home Hurry home Hurry home!'

Don't Order Cake On Phone

On wife's b'day, man ordered a cake on phone.

Salesman: Wat msg to put on d cake?

Man: Write"Getting older but U R getting better."

Salesman: How do u want me to put it?

Man: Well.. put"U R getting older"at the top and"but U R getting better"at d bottom.

When d cake was unveiled all guests were aghast at d msg.

It read:"You are getting older at the top, but you are getting better at the bottom!"

Moral:- Don't order cakes over phone.

Encyclopedia Of Ladies

Types of Ladies
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Technically there are 7 TYPES OF LADIES:
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1. HARD DISK lady: Remembers everything forever.
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2. RAM lady: Forgets about you the moment you turn off.
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3. SCREENSAVER lady: Just for looking.
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4. INTERNET lady: Difficult to access.
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5. SERVER lady: Always busy when needed
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6. MULTIMEDIA lady: Looks beautiful but you can only look.
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7. VIRUS lady: This type of lady is normally called 'WIFE', once enters your system, never leaves even if the system is formatted..

Jokes At Extreme

1) Crazy Heights Of Jokes

2) Laziness?

Asking lift for morning walk.

3) Craziness?

Get blank paper xerox.

4) Honesty?

Pregnant woman taking 2 tickets.

5) De-hydration?

Cow giving milk powder.

6) Hope?

A 99 yr. Old woman going for 295/-recharge to get lifetime incoming.

7) Stupidity?

Looking through key hole of a glass door.

8) Suicide attempt?

A dwarf jumps from the footpath on the road.

Best Way To Control Anger Of Your Wife

FOR MARRIED FRIENDS..

1st Friend: Yaar my wife always remain angry!!

2nd Friend: Yeah my wife was also same earlier but not now.

1st Friend: So what you did to her?

2nd Friend: One day she was very angry I just said -

It's not your fault baby anger comes with age.

So from that day onwards she never talk to me in loud voice also.

Husband Wife Store

A store that sells “New Husbands” has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.
There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the floors..
A woman goes to find a husband.
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
She continues to the second floor..
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs ...n love kids..
she continues upward...
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking..
'Wow,' she thinks, but She goes to the fourth floor..
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Good Looking and Help with Housework.
She exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor...
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are very handsome, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic nature..
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor number 31,456,012 to this floor...
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please!!!
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store..

Now The store's owner opened a “New Wives Store” just across the street..
The 1st Floor has wives that listen to men..

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The 2nd, 3rd, 4th,5th and 6th floor have never been visited by men!!!!!!