Scientific Technical Jokes

Technical Jokes:

Scientists were playing hide & seek in heaven.

Einstein was seeker.

Newton didn't hide & stood in a square of 1 meter.

Einstein: I found u Newton !! Thhappa !!!

Newton: U are Wrong.

I am not Newton. As I am standing in 1 mtr square, I am Newton/per mt sq. So I am Pascal.
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Q: What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?

A: "You may have graduated but I've got many degrees"
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Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together?

OMg!
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Did you know Oxygen went on a date with Potassium?

It was OK.
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A photon walks into a hotel. The porter asks, "May I take your bags?" The photon replies "It's fine, thanks. I'm travelling light.
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Atom 1: I just lost an electron.

Atom 2: Are you sure?

Atom 1: I'm positive.

Q:What do you get when you mix 2 iron atoms & cobalt

CoFFee
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: What do you get after reaction of two sodium atoms with a Barium atom...

A BaNaNa
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Q: Why did a scientist install a door knocker?

A: coz he wanted to win a no-bell prize!!!!!!

Boss and Secretary

A boss from a motor company walked into his office one morning, not knowing that his zip was down.

His beautiful secretary walked up to him and asked,

"Boss, this morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?"

This was not a phrase that her Boss understood, so he went into his office looking a bit puzzled.

When he was done with his paper work, he suddenly noticed that his zipper was not zipped up. He zipped it up and remembered what his secretary had asked him; finally understood.

Then he intentionally went out to ask for a cup of coffee from his secretary.

When he reached her desk, he said,

"When you saw the garage door open, did you see my JAGUAR parked in there?"

The secretary smiled for a moment and said,

"No, Boss, I didn't.
All I saw was "A TATA NANO with 2 flat tyres

Take Care While Praying In Foreign Country

In case of an emergency, speak only in English !!

Never say prayers in any other language!

You never know what kind of translation problem u can run into :)

An Indian in the US suffered a heart attack on the road and was picked up by an ambulance.

Being religious, he kept repeating - Hari Om, Hari Om, Hari Om.

When the ambulance pulled into his home, his wife came out and screamed to the paramedics:
'Why didn't you take him straight to the hospital?'

They replied "Because he kept saying,
'Hurry home Hurry home Hurry home!'

Mechanic And Doctor

A mechanic was removing the engine parts from a motorcycle,when he saw famous heart surgeon in his shop.. He called the surgeon n said.. "Look at this engine... I opened its heart,took the valves out, repaired and put them back"...So why do I get such a small salary and u get such a huge sum.... The doctor smiled at the mechanic and came close 2 his ear and said.... "Try the same when the engine is running.".

Dual Sim Phone Caution

⛔ CAUTION : ⛔

Even if your wife uses dual sim phone, save both the number under one name : "WIFE" ...... 

Never save it as "wife 1" and "wife 2"... : from a Hospitalised Husband.

New Medical Dictionary

*Antibody : Against everybody *Artery : Study of fine paintings *Genes : Blue denims *Labour pain : Hurt at work *Liposuction : French kiss *Microbes : Small dressing gowns *Cardiology : Advanced study of playing cards *Cat scan : Searching lost cat *Coma : Punctuation mark *Bacteria : Back door to cafeteria.

Women Will Be Women

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack & was taken 2 the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked, "Is my time up ?" God said, "No, you have another 34 years 2 live."  Upon recovery, the woman decided 2 stay in the hospital & have a face-lift, liposuction, & tummy tuck. She even changed her hair color    Finally she was released from the hospital. While crossing the road on her way home, she was killed by a truck. Arriving in front of God, she asked,  "You said I had another 34 years 2 live. Why didn't you save me from the truck?" (You'll love this) God replied:  "I couldn't recognize you!" Lol.................. Aur karo makeup

Doctor & Patient

The doctor had just finished giving the young man a thorough physical examination.The best thing for you to do,. the doctor said, is give up drinking and smoking, get to bed early and stay away from women...Doctor, I don.t deserve the best,. said the patient. What is the next best?.

Doctors Faith

There was a long queue ahead of Doctors clinic.

He tried to enter into queue several times but people keep pushing him back.

Doctor got annoyed.

He stopped trying and told remain in queue i too will not open the clinic.